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Rumour Monkey #20

Published By: Daniel Needham On: 22/11/2006 10:00

Halo 3, Nintendo Wii? The Rumour Monkey investigates...

Welcome to the column that packs in as much information as a library, but is as good for you as a Big Mac: the Rumour Monkey.

As always I am your favourite animal columnist the Rumour Monkey, here to serve you up more gaming goodness, just the way you freaks out there like it. Now with the impending release of the Wii, a PS2 price-drop, and the 360 trucking along with some great titles, and, according to yours truly in the last edition of this very column, a potential price-drop before the end of the year, this is shaping up to be one of the best gaming Christmases on record hot damn it! And I’ll be damned if I can’t serve you up even more rumours regarding gaming and upcoming releases!

Hang up the mistletoe and kiss my fur, here’s the latest batch of rumours fresh to you!

Rumour: Halo 3 will come in a two-disc set

Background Info: Reports around the Internet stating the size of various portions of the game, and a poll on the Bungie site asking gamers’ wants.

Monkey Says: Two discs? Hmmm, it would definitely keep all those shooter-genre freaks locked up in their dark rooms with their box of Kleenex for when Master Chief dies. Pardon what? Ahem, we seem to be having technical difficulties here, we should have more for you on this matter in the next issue. Back to the point at hand, I definitely wouldn’t be surprised to see a two-disc set, except that the second disc will probably just be a bonus DVD or a "making of" DVD.

Monkey’s Confidence: 10/10 Bananas – Use the spare disc as a Frisbee when you’re done with it!

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Rumour: Microsoft plan on releasing Dreamcast titles on their Xbox Live Arcade service

Background Info: Moves by Microsoft to secure Sega content, as well as deals conducted and reported on the internet

Monkey Says: First thing’s first here chums, is that the sheer size of a Dreamcast game would be too much to download for a single game, as not only would it be time consuming to download, it will probably cost you a pretty penny in MS points. That being said, I’m sure all of you 360 nuts out there would love to see some Dreamcast titles popping up on your XBLA service in the near future now wouldn’t you?

Monkey’s Confidence: 4/10 Bananas – If this can get past the obvious problem points, then it’s definitely viable

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Rumour: Nintendo to spend over US$200 million in advertising the console.

Background Info: Press releases from the company as well as financial statements released on to the Internet.

Monkey Says: Whoa! Now $200 million is quite a bit of de-liro if you ask me, but it doesn’t quite come near my salary by the time you add the fringe benefits, the offshore tax-free account in the Cayman Islands, as well as the lovely ladies that Ron sends by for sloppy seconds. What is no laughing matter is the fact that Nintendo are dead serious to get ahead in this console race, and get their console out there and in to the marketplace where it is visible. Unlike the GameCube where you had to climb mountains, slay dragons and fend off malaria to get to it in your local gaming store.

Monkey’s Confidence: 8/10 Bananas – Buy the Wii and justify the marketing campaign people!

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Rumour: Over 10 virtual console titles will be available for download on launch day

Background Info: Press releases including information on the virtual console service.

Monkey Says: Old school fo’ sure my brothers! It doesn’t matter if you’re in the Hutt, up in g-field or down in the rough streets of Phillipstown, you’ll be able (provided you have a broadband connection of course) to download titles from yesteryear such as Donkey Kong, Sim City, Super Mario 64, Bomberman and many more!

Monkey’s Confidence: 7/10 Bananas – I’m surprised I haven’t included the inevitable Wii pun yet; maybe it’s a Wii bit too late for that now.

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Well that wraps up another edition of the Rumour Monkey. By this time next month most of my loyal fan base will be locked up in their room with their Wii’s, or wasting their lives on Gears Of War. So for the three of you that will read my next column I’ll see you right here at NZGamer.com.