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MEGALODON! (Spoilers, and maybe sharks)

Published: Wed 20 Aug, 2008 | 41 Comments
Tags: Fox's awesome song-writing, Anti-shark spray, Jaws Unleashed

Shark Attack III: Megalodon. It PWNS. In bold capitals. I'm actually going to buy the dvd. Maybe even watch the commentary. And maybe write a song.

MEGALODON! Coming in the night! MEGALODON! Gonna take a bite.

...Beautiful.

Based on a true story(presumeably), the direct-to-south-american dvd consists of ridiculously big prehistoric sharks eating things, and things trying not to be eaten by ridiculously big prehistoric sharks. IN VAIN. Silly ...things.

Yeah, so that's pretty much the plot. Eating.

 

 

Why did I say "things" and not people? Well, it eats swordfish, people, people on jet skiis, yachts - you know, typical prehistoric prey.
And Megalodon (Or "Meg") eats these things whole. Can Jaws eat a yacht whole? No. FAIL.
I don't know why a shark that swallows things whole even needs teeth for but hey, a movie without a real plot cannot have plot holes.




Good movie. Rich, poignant and heart-felt. However, it does raise a serious issue. Megalodons are a serious threat in our oceans.
Think about it. 70% of the world is water. There could be up to 3 Megalodons in the ocean RIGHT NOW. Think about that next time you're fishing...

 

At this stage I'd give you some tips on how to survive a Megalodon attack. But sorry, I have nothing. Life-jackets? Nope. Flares? Hell, even a shotgun?

You'll be digested in minutes. Even staying on land won't save you - we all remember what happened to Atlantis last time Meg got peckish. Even all the Anti-Shark spray in the world wouldn't save Batman.

 

 

 

MEGALODON! Coming in the night! MEGALODON! Gonna take a bite. MEGALODON! Gonna cause a fright! MEGALODON! It's gonna take your life.

Now that's catchy.

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